Obviously I hate False Sexpectations... You didn't notice?
So it should come as no shock that there are few words in the English language I hate more than "Tomorrow Night..." These are the words my beautiful wife says with promising eyes as she turns me down. Not just turns me down, but turns me down after giving me the signs all day!
Women, you need to understand something... When you give the sexpecation that sex will happen in the next 12 hours, the launch sequence is initialized! You cannot just power down all thrusters at a moments notice. You might have not given a second thought to sex the entire rest of the day but we have been thinking about it non-stop every 60 seconds (or more frequently) the entire day!!!!! (Breathe....)
So ... THE NEXT NIGHT WHEN YOU TELL ME YET AGAIN "TOMORROW NIGHT!" and I believe you.... SHAME ON ME FOR BELIEVING YOU! And when we get to tomorrow night and you tell me "I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood tonight, I should feel into it tomorrow night and it will be much better sex! Do you hate me??"
Do I hate you???? The women I have chosen to spend my life with, through thick and thin, rich and pour, and some other stuff... To love, honor and such... To spend the rest of my life making love to you and only you... as you tow me along by the junk because you have all the power and know it...
Do I hate you, my love, my all?
You don't even need to ask.
I hate you... so very, very much. I do. Absolutely. For at least 24 more hours.
P.S. It is disturbing (and hot) to me that if you do a google images search for "Slave" 50% of the pictures are Princess Leia in the gold bikini...
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Women are like slot machines
Women are like slot machines.
A friend shared this idea with me and I like the logic. Let us explore!
In a casino the house has all the power, they control exactly how often the slots payout knowing most people will sit at them bowing at the alter of the house in the hope that they might get a payout, even a small one... the hope of course is that you will hit a major jack pot! The reality is you will spend hours and hours feeding the slot with nothing in return... Well almost nothing... See if the house didn't give you SOMETHING you would walk away! So after you pay into the slot for a while it will give you a little pay out for encouragement so you will keep playing. Once you are interested the payout keep coming as you keep putting them in, what it is really doing is getting it's money back and then giving some to you to give back to it until you slowly don't realize that for every 10 coins you put in you are only getting 8 back, slowly depleting you of your will to live... I mean money.
But you don't notice or care, you keep "investing", you can't walk away because is a hot slot!
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
A friend shared this idea with me and I like the logic. Let us explore!
In a casino the house has all the power, they control exactly how often the slots payout knowing most people will sit at them bowing at the alter of the house in the hope that they might get a payout, even a small one... the hope of course is that you will hit a major jack pot! The reality is you will spend hours and hours feeding the slot with nothing in return... Well almost nothing... See if the house didn't give you SOMETHING you would walk away! So after you pay into the slot for a while it will give you a little pay out for encouragement so you will keep playing. Once you are interested the payout keep coming as you keep putting them in, what it is really doing is getting it's money back and then giving some to you to give back to it until you slowly don't realize that for every 10 coins you put in you are only getting 8 back, slowly depleting you of your will to live... I mean money.
But you don't notice or care, you keep "investing", you can't walk away because is a hot slot!
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
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